My daughter and I live with her traumatic brain injury and its inconsistencies and unpredictable behavior every single day. Some mornings I have been woken up with a pleasant ray of sunshine. For example, she stood in my doorway and asked "Did somebody order some loves and hugs?" and when I said "Yes, I did!" she comes running in and gives me a huge hug and a big kiss that are both so full of love and her innocence.
Then, there are the "other" days. One day, I was in the kitchen doing dishes and I hear her muttering something and I asked "What?" (thinking she was talking to me) and she ignored me. So I walked into the living room and asked her what she said. She looked up at me with the meanest stink-eye ever and said "I hate your ugly face. I want you out of my house." I try to keep a straight face because I know she doesn't mean it, there was some odd little trigger and she will snap out of it. I tell her "Well, that's okay because I love you and want you to stay in MY house forever." Then about 10 minutes later, she's hugging my waist crying her heart out saying how sorry she is, she loves me and wants to stay with me forever.
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| Angry outburst plus an added fist shaking. At her birthday party. Haha. |
There are some days, her anxiety levels are high. There are some days, her silly happiness is bubbling over.
She was diagnosed with "moderate intellectual disability" and I warn people, don't look at the diagnosis because she is very intelligent. She's acutely aware of others' emotions, nuances and very, very intuitive. She's easily frustrated and easily redirected. I fear for her future because the world is cruel. If she is by herself walking and falls on the sidewalk and there's nothing there to pull herself up with, she can't yet get up off the ground. She's not afraid to ask for help. She's not afraid to tell somebody that something makes her uncomfortable and that they are in her bubble. She thrives on praise. She's very strong headed, loving and has the best personality in a child but...
She's perfectly imperfect and consistently inconsistent. I like her. A lot. Each day is a surprise in the world of Traumatic Brain Injuries.
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| Excited for Fifth Grade and Super happy |
It must be hard to see her struggles. I had a tbi 13 years ago. The doctors said I was lucky to not have worse effects. Scary stuff.
ReplyDeleteVery scary. TBIs are so unpredictable. My daughter's is very severe and she's doing well considering the degree of injury. There are those whose TBIs are "less" severe but are more profoundly affected. It's so scary. I am glad you didn't suffer severe deficits!
Deletelove reading your post and love seeing your daughter grow through pictures. I am sure i have wrote this before ... you both are amazing!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Jossie
Awww thank you, Jossie!
DeleteLovely post Jaime, you are both so inspiring and I know they tend to do this but geez she's grown up lol. You must be so proud of her and I'm sure like all of them she drives you nuts at times haha.
ReplyDeleteAwww thank you! She has grown up so much! You've gotten to see her change a LOT via my blog posts. She does- drives me nuts and to pride at the same time (some times...haha)
DeleteWith a mom like you I'm sure her future will be okay. The world is cruel but I've learned there are many great people in it. My uncle has had two brain injuries; the latest resulted in memory loss and behavioral issues. But he manages because of our supportive family. He will never be his old self, but it's in there somewhere, you can tell some days. I'm glad I found your blog, I also like stuff. :) You seem like a great person and I wish you and your daughter the best life possible!
ReplyDeleteI definitely try, that's for sure. You are right, there ARE many, many great people. That's definitely true. I learned about the goodness in people when she was injured.
DeleteI am so sorry that your uncle and your family has gone through TWO brain injuries. That's hard. You're right, he will never be the same but as you said, he manages because of you all! Brain injuries are so unpredictable but you just roll with the punches, right?
I am so glad you found my blog, too! Your comments made my day! I am already off to stalk your blog ;)